Relationship Tips

Things you need to know about having s.e.x when you’re HIV positive

Here’s what you need to know:

1. Be honest with your partner

The first things you need to consider are “issues of disclosure – how to protect your partner and assess their HIV status, plus what to do if things go wrong,” says Dr Francois Venter, deputy director at Wits Reproductive Health and HIV Institute and associate professor in the Department of Medicine at Wits University.

These need to be tackled before you find yourself in the moment so you can approach them with careful thought.


“Plan how to have the conversation, negotiate safe sex and encourage your partner to get tested. And have a handy plan B in place in case there’s a condom break, such as taking post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP), which prevents HIV transmission,” says Dr Venter.

2. Use c0nd0ms – they work

There are a lot of myths around condoms not being safe enough to protect against HIV transmission. But if used correctly, and if they don’t burst or come off, they’re 100% safe.

Unfortunately, they occasionally slip or tear, in which case a small risk is present and it’s advised to get PEP from your doctor or clinic. Risk also increases during your period.

3. Stick to your treatment

With the advent of safe and effective antiretrovirals, your health returns to normal and your ability to pass on the virus is reduced almost to zero. So, accidents with condoms, or anything else, are much less likely to have consequences for your partner.

4. Oral s.e.x is low risk for passing on HIV

Dr Venter says, “You’ve got a bigger risk of getting struck by lightning than getting HIV from oral sex.”

However, you can still catch other STIs from unprotected oral sex, so proceed with caution.

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