It all started with Freud’s Oedipus complex: all men just want to marry their mothers. That somewhere in our childhood psychological upbringing, way deep in the back of our brains, we seek out mate’s that mirror the qualities of our parents. Since Freud threw this theory out into the public, many have disputed his ideas, but what does remain true is that no woman wants her boyfriend to start to feel like her child. I’m not talking about deep psychological damage you can only work through with a therapist; I’m talking about very simple things you can do so that your girlfriend does not become your mother.
Traditional Role Play
This is going to sound incredibly dated of me, but I’m just repeating science, man. According to a 2013 study by the Sociological Review, men who routinely do typically feminine chores have less sex with their partners. The researchers looked at data from 4500 heterosexual married couples.
“Couples in which men participate more in housework typically done by women report having less sex frequently. Similarly, couples in which men participate in more traditionally masculine tasks — yard work, paying bills and auto maintenance — report higher sexual frequency.”
Now, all surveys are, of course, up for debate, but there is something to be said here. My husband and I share our household tasks in a very stereotypical, traditional manner. Although we both work full-time and provide the income, when it comes to chores, he does the plumbing maintenance, heavy lifting, and anything in the garage, like dealing with car or motorcycle problems. Now, he also made me dinner last night and did all the dishes because my back was thrashed and he’s just good like that. I think a balance needs to be struck with what works for you both. My husband is good with his hands and builds for a living. He can’t use a computer to save his life. I, on the other hand, like cleaning, tending to our plants, organizing and dealing with our finances. I would much rather do the laundry than have to fix the leaky sink.
Not all women require a Paul Bundy, but a man who cannot take care of himself and the tasks around the house his father should have taught him is still wildly unattractive. I know we’re supposed to be shaking tradition and evolving beyond these rigid ideas of masculinity, but there are some things that are still going strong, and being able to use a hammer is definitely one of them.
Learn To Cook
You do not have to be Bobby Flay, but a person who is completely useless in the kitchen is unattractive. It gets really tiresome to be the only one who can cook. I once dated this guy who could not cook anything. His idea of cooking was putting a pre-made pizza into the oven and waiting for the timer to go off. It got old and I started to look at him like a 12-year-old boy. He can’t even make himself a meal? He started to look less and less like a full grown adult with a good job and more and more like a pathetic, teenage boy who lived off frozen enchiladas. I really suggest learning how to cook one meal. Just one signature dish that you can do really well and from scratch. Cooking is not hard once you figure out the very simple blueprint of flavors. Also, there is no better feeling than making an excellent meal from scratch. It’s a weirdly mundane yet excellent accomplishment.
Surprise Her With Little Things
One of the nicest things a man can do for this girlfriend is surprise her by handling the annoying daily tasks that plague her existence. These usually have to do with her home, like cleaning the bathroom, fixing her wobbly kitchen chair or washing her car. It shows not only that you care about her and want her life to be easier, but that you appreciate everything she does for you on a daily basis. Those kind of surprises remind us that, yes, you are a full grown adult who is responsible and thoughtful and not a selfish child.
Remember, no one but a pedophile wants to have sex with a child. Keep it grown up and you will be fine.