Sure, there are a lot of double standards when it comes to the way men and women approach sex (orgasm deficit is one huge one), but there are also a lot of straight-up misconceptions about how women really feel about it. Women don’t hate sex, women don’t need to be in love to have sex, and women do not care about your penis size. Wouldn’t it be great if this could all be cleared up?
1. I’m not going to automatically fall in love and start planning a wedding because you gave me an orgasm. This whole idea about how girls get “so attached” after you have sex with them one single time is bullshit. I’m a person with ~*~needs~*~, just like you.
2. I love a good one-night stand just as much as you and all your bro friends do. So don’t get offended if I don’t want to exchange phone numbers and go on a brunch date the next day.
3. Yep, I’m definitely going to discuss every single detail of our sex life with my closest friends. Just like you probably do with your closest friends. Talking about sex is almost as great as having the actual sex.
4. How big or small or thick or thin your penis is does not matter to me nearly as much as you think it does. As long as it’s healthy and you’ve got a condom on it, I couldn’t really care less.
5. I feel incredibly creeped out when you show up without any pubic hair, like a shiny, smooth Ken doll with a dick. You’re a grown man and I would prefer it if you looked like one during this very adult activity.
6. As soon as this thing is over, I’m running straight to the bathroom before we have any sort of cuddle time. As much as I love kissing you, post-orgasm, I love not having a UTI even more.
7. I don’t know where you came up with the idea that I want this sex sesh to last for an entire hour. About 20 minutes in, I’m tired and hungry and I’m sure you are too.
8. All those things you’ve ever heard about how important foreplay is are true. It’s seriously mandatory and shouldn’t even be considered a separate thing — it’s just part of sex. Do it every single time, and don’t half-ass it. I can tell when you’re half-assing it.