I have been married for three years and my husband is a very good person. I made the mistake of having an affair at work. He is also married and has children.
I have just found out that I am pregnant. I feel very strongly he’s the father so I told him and he went mad.
He accused me of deliberately falling pregnant. He has always ensured we use condoms, though I am on the pill.
He has threatened me, saying he’ll make sure I am fired if I don’t have an abortion. I told him I will never have an abortion. I don’t want to lose my job; the market is tough out there.
Why should I [abort] anyway? He is as much to blame for this as I am. I haven’t told anyone I am pregnant. I have been sick with fear.
Scared of being fired, scared of what my work colleagues will say if they find out. And what will my friends and family say when I tell them? Worst of all, my husband will divorce me if he finds out. I have also heard people at work saying this man’s wife is also pregnant. I think I should tell her about the affair and my pregnancy.
The first thing I want to address is your plan to tell this man’s wife. I want to urge you not to do this. His wife, their children and unborn child are innocent in all of this. I can understand you wanting to get revenge but nothing will be achieved by causing more damage.
You have decided to keep your baby and this is obviously something that you cannot hide for much longer. I understand you are scared to tell anyone but the sooner you tell your husband and family the better it will be.
The stress that you are under is not good for you or your baby. You will also have to speak to your husband and discuss going for blood tests to confirm who the father of the baby is. It would be very unfair to ask your husband to take responsibility for this child.
Talk to the other man; he must understand his role and future responsibilities if he is the father. Good luck.