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After remaining silent for the longest time, 2005 Idols winner Karin Kortje has opened up about the night her ex-boyfriend Cheslyn Williams murdered guest house owner, Renate Kellerman, of Durbanville in Cape Town.

At the time of the crime, Karin and Jabu Mlotshwa, a member of her management team, stayed at the Le Petit Chateau guest house. Karin had been shooting a TV ad and upon returning to the house, she found Renate dead. At the time, Cheslyn violated his parole conditions by leaving Cape Town to live with Karin in Boksburg, Johannesburg.

Cheslyn was sentenced to life in prison. He also faced charges of theft and rape. He later died while in prison.

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Subsequently, this affected Karin’s career. O Magazine cancelled her performance and involvement at the magazine’s Tea Parties to be held in Cape Town, Durban and Johannesburg. Associated Magazines said in a statement that “due to the unfortunate circumstance in her personal life, we have taken the decision to release her from her obligations towards O Magazine”.

karinTaking to Facebook recently, Karin spoke out about the incident and how it has lived with her ever since it occurred.

“I will never get over that fatal night. I will never get over the fact that a part of me died with Renate Kellerman,” she wrote, as she revealed details of her dream she had.

“NEVER EVER! I try so hard everyday to make up for my wrong choices in life. But somehow I get stuck. For 6 continuous years I was fighting to make South Africa understand and not blame me for what happened that night I lost focus. I blamed myself for a lot of things especially my part I played in that whole episode. For allowing a person like that into my life and heart. But most importantly into that family’s lifes. It will forever haunt me.”

She further said that she still questions how and why Renate was killed, before pointing out that she realised that her name will forever be dragged in the mud over the incident.

“I couldn’t and still don’t understand why it all happened and I realised that I will pay for it for the rest of my life.

“Knowing so many [have] closed their hearts and turned their backs. And they know who they are…”

In keeping her head up high, Karin explained that she prays to God to “bring restoration in [her] life.”

“The road is long, but with a fragile heart God has also given me a forgiving heart, a heart that loves unconditionally, a heart that trust so easily.. And a will power to never give up. I don’t know when that will happen but I pray that it will happen soon.”

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