For such a simple mechanism, there are a lot of myths and rumors surrounding the penis. Most of these are, of course, spread by the men who have them, and think that if they keep spreading the same untruths, we’ll all just eventually believe all this made up nonsense about foot size and magical semen.

To set the record straight (or maybe slightly bent, because that’s a thing), debunked the nine biggest penis lies that need to die forever and never be uttered again.


1. That you should be checking out the size of his Nikes before unzipping his pants. The whole “you know what they say about big feet?!?!?!!?” thing is pure folklore. A study from 2002 looked into this and found no significant correlation between a guy’s foot size and penis size. So stop staring floor next time you’re out at the bar — nothing of interest to see down there.

2. That his drunken lack of boner means he’s totally over you and thinks you’re a slovenly troll monster. Whiskey dick is not to be taken personally — a real live man even said so himself. Alcohol might make you feel ~fun flirty and cool~ but it’s technically a depressant, and depressants aren’t necessarily the best at making things (in this case: penises) go and stay up, as studies have shown.

3. That he will literally die and his dick will rip off at the seams if he doesn’t have an orgasm every single time. LOL can you even imagine if this were a prevalent myth for women?? (Actually I can because I’m pumping this rumor super hard, it’s my life’s work but hahaha anyway.) Guys who tell you, “I’m sorry but if I don’t come, my dick’s gonna hurt for days” are straight up bullying you. Yes, blue balls are a real medical thing, but they are not life threatening, and they will not leave this man gripping his crotch in anguish all weekend. Don’t fall for this lie!

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