8 reasons why Mzansi men cheat. What makes men cheat? Dr Kamal Khurana, relationship counsellor, dug through past research on male infidelity, and has even counselled couples and has arrived at the conclusion that most answers are from the wife’s point of view. Here, some of his findings:
1. Disturbance in the marriage as the primary reason
When there are regular fights at home with his wife, which are left unresolved, a pattern sets in wherein he continues to be unhappy and ‘disturbed’. In this kind of a scenario, either he can fight or he can flee. When he looks for an affair, he is looking to flee from dealing with the issues in the marriage, and be comfortable with that ‘other person’. It is telling oneself that the problems do not affect anyone and life can continue in a better way with a parallel support.
2. Cheating men report boredom led to the affair
Some men may find the routine of a married life to be tedious and dull. These men find it easier to shift dominance or primacy to another relationship and feel the spark outside to be a thrilling option; instead of finding ways of charging their marriage. It becomes present moment for gratification versus the hard job that they will have to do in their marriage to resolve an issue. The extra-marital relationship provides them with a readymade and fresh experience, which is appealing enough to take the risk.
3. Cheating men love to experiment sexually
Sex has always been and will always be an integral part of a marriage. While some men are quite content spending the rest of their lives having sex with the same wife for many years, others prefer to experiment more as a need, rather than as an option. They want to sleep with many women, many times, and therefore do not think twice before an extra-marital alliance. It perhaps makes them feel sexually powerful and more adept than others.
4. Cheating men are emotionally dissatisfied
When their wives are too busy with their own lives, working or bringing up children or even looking after in-laws and parents, emotionally, men are left high and dry. But men are emotionally driven beings too. They want their wives to show them that they’re appreciated, and they want women to understand how hard they’re trying to get things right. Most men consider it unmanly to ask for a pat on the back, which is why their emotional needs are often overlooked. Sometimes the couple may not be compatible so however much the wife may do, the man will always find something to complain about. It may also happen that the woman he cheats with is his co-worker or boss, someone who praises him, looks up to him, and compliments his efforts. That’s another reason why it’s so critical that he feel valued at home.